My “It’s a Girl” Reaction
So I have gone back and forth on sharing this thought. I feel that I have been battling with what society wants to hear & what God wants me to say, and I couldn’t decipher between the two. I planned to share it a few weeks ago, but I spoke to somebody about it and they had an opinion that didn’t completely align with mine, and I told myself I didn’t need to share it, but I have decided that that’s my fear of rejection & rejection is ok.
Everyone isn’t going to agree with what I say. But my purpose for posting so openly all the time isn’t for everyone to agree with me, it’s to bring light to different situations and hopefully challenge someone to think in a way they never have before.
7 years ago I was young & pregnant with Kaynin. From day one I knew in my gut it was a boy. If anyone asked me, I did not want a girl. Two years later, Kai comes & My reaction was still the same thing. Team boy all the way, No Girls! Fast forward to this pregnancy, 4 years later. When we found out we were pregnant, my initial reaction was differently from the first 2. There was a since of calmness in being ready to accept whatever gender the baby was which was completely different from the first two. This time, I wasn’t team boy or team girl. I was Team “happy to be pregnant.” I began to reflect on what the big difference was.
7 years ago, I was a lost youngggg adult. I was seeking attention in all the wrong places from all the wrong people. I had no clue who I was as a person. I had no ambition, goals, or confidence. I would wake up each day just going through motions to get through the day. You may often hear, “you don’t want a girl because you don’t want to raise a you.”
I was so set on BOY because I was so displeased with the person I was at the time. It was true, I didn’t want to raise a girl that was like me. Having boys was the easy route because in my young mind, I believed they would take a lot of traits from their daddy.
So now I believe that God held off on giving me a girl until I was mentally stable and strong enough personally to pass on those traits and help teach my daughter to be all of the things that I initially wasn’t. God had to grow me and teach me things before he could give me what he had in store. Am I perfect? No, but I sure have came a longggg way from where I was. & I am beyond grateful and proud of the woman I am today. Today I feel prepared to handle whatever girl challenge is thrown at me.
“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.”
1 Peter 5:10 NLT
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